How’s my poem, what can I add to it?
I’m not emo or gothing or anything, I just had this poem wanting to get out on paper, it’s about a robot/doll who thinks he’s fake and wants to be real by bleeding, and this is how it looks (no stealing, please):
You invented me
Leave me be…
I want to feel
To know I’m real
It’s hard to deal
I must be real…
This pain
It’s no game
Leave me in vain
Sharp knife drives through me
A watery red substance flows out of my head
I wonder what it is.
Am I dead?
“You invented me” Is the puppet speaking to it’s owner telling him his story….so it’s sorta a clue that hints him saying he’s in vain…because he thought he wasn’t real. You know, like Pinochio?
Wow…so, that kind of freaked me out a little bit at first. I actually really like it, though. I think it ends really well, and it’s perfect the way it is. It’s simple and concise, but at the same time it really gets you when you ask, “Am I dead?” Lolz…I wish I could write like that. Good luck with future writing. 
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