anyone have a good Valentine’s day gift idea?
I’m freaking out right now. i know my girlie got me something good. she keeps mentioning it and dropping hints that she is really pleased with what she got me.
i don’t have a clue what to get her.
d@ck in a box?
a “sorry i ran over your cat” hallmark card (still haven’t broken that news yet)?
voodoo doll (we’re Haitian)?
coupon to have sex with another man but requires my signature authorization prior to use?
i can’t think of anything else! please someone suggest something good!
Hello Mr. Mayor. The Hamburglar has exactly what you need. I run an establishment called The Hamburglar’s All-Beef-Patty Ranch located in Tuckahoe, NJ. The ranch has some great features to it that may satisfy your unique sexual appetite and may even get you off the hook for the cat incident without wasting money on a card. I tried to keep an indian/cowboy vibe to it since Tuckahoe is named after a special indian bread from the Lenape tribe. Here are some of the great theme activities that you can find:
1) Scalp that cowgirl – This is a great activity where you can chase your naked girl around our outside mud ring. Once you catch that slippery little pig, you shave her down. I’m talking from scalp, to eyebrows to the who-ha.
2) “Stable Room” – This is a fantastic theme room that really teaches you to dominate your woman, which is what The Hamburglar thinks is the key to a successful sexual relationship. Nothing is left out in this room. You can fix that hussy with a spiked bridle and bit. Fuzzy sadle for a comfortable spidermonkey position. You can even lasso her down when she tries to make a run for it. The Hamburglar has no problems stepping in if you’re having difficulty with some of the tools.
3) Brokeback Mountain at the Okie Doke Corral – This is my personal favorite and may even satisfy your coupon to have sex with another man idea. It starts with you and your woman fooling around in our special “Camping Suite.” You can touch each other’s intimate parts and them Boom! In comes The Hamburglar himself dressed in nothing but my cowboy chaps! She won’t know what hit her once she experiences that rotisserie! Lets just say that she’s not the only one that gets the attention. If you know what I mean. But don’t worry, I know you have to have your “signature authorization” if you let another man in. Check out my picture below. I don’t think you’ll have a problem with it.
http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/1329782992063378136ykFHvP?vhost=good-times
I don’t want to spoil all the surprises so I hope this helps with your Vday gift. I look forward to seeing you.
-You’ve just been sacked by The Hamburglar
