I Blame Barbara Walters
It’s bad enough that I had to spend this Memorial Day Weekend dealing with the sudden and tragic death of Charles Nelson Reilly and this war in Iraq. Did I have to also try to make sense of the horrible bloodbath between Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck that has destroyed the lives of thousands and left hundred homeless?
It’s not Rosie’s fault, and it’s not Elisabeth’s fault. I blame Barbara. Who creates a show called The View where people are supposed to give their opinions without expecting a fight? I told Barbara many years ago that if she wants to create an all women gabfest, she should call it The Question where everyone just asks questions. Let the audience come up with their own answers. Should we be getting out of Iraq? Well, I guess if you’re against the war, then we should, but if you’re pro-war, then no. Come up with your own answers, all we’re doing is asking the questions.
Rosie got the point when she asked Elisabeth if she thought she (Rosie) was insinuating that American troops were terrorists. But then Elisabeth went and gave her an answer. She should have said something like, “Should terrorists wear make-up or are dolled up terrorists taken less seriously?” Or she could have just said, “Does Joy Behar think you are a terrorist, Rosie?
I think that the problem with this country today is that people focus too much on the answer and not on the question. If I were president, I would demand that reporters give me the answers, and then I’ll give them the question. Sort of like Jeopardy, and isn’t Jeopard a lot more fun than real life?
Reporter: Mr. President, thousands of people have died in Iraq just his year alone.
Mr. President: What is, “Why should we not invade a country with a very large population like Pakistan or India but stick to sparsely populated countries like Canada and France?”
About the Author
Dr. Murray Trillionaire is a reknowned world expert with doctoral degrees in Yiddish Country Music from Brigham Young University and the History of Medieval New Jersey from the University of Atlantic City. He is the founder of the psychological school of thought commonly known as Trillionairism that believes that the answers to all of mankind’s problems can be found in the lyrics of pop songs from the 80s (particularly those from Culture Club). He is a tireless advocate of getting paper mache building recognized as an Olympic sport but is not sure if it should be part of the Summer or Winter Games. Get to know more about Murray by visiting his website www.murraytrillionaire.com.
